One month into my transformation and I don't know if what has happened could be called progress...may be its that I feel that if I shared what my approach to the past month with many people, I believe that they would shake their heads and laugh. I know those people. Some are my friends...but I'm not doing this for those people, I'm doing this for me.
One month in, here's what I know.
Any change in my exercise and diet take more than 1 month to be noticeable. About 15 years ago, I started a diet (with little exercise) that gave me major results in 15 days. That's not my overeall history, not my reality, and not what I want for the future. I want to make lasting changes, ones that I won't back slide from. So I will keep making decisions that serve me well.
Getting caught up in the "shoulds" gets me down and doesn't move me forward. I sometimes let my daily routine cause me to feel pressure from obligations outside myself. Its those voices in my head that keep telling me what I SHOULD be doing. Lesson: I have to be true to myself first, and be "smarter" about the shoulds. I'm not saying that I've been dumb. But I believe that I let myself give in, I give in to the pressure of perceived expectations, I give in to the pressure that those voices tell me what I should be doing. When I do that, when I give in, I do not honor myself or my goals. I want to handle the shoulds that serve me, and find some way to delegate (or ignore) the rest.
I have to continue giving myself permission to let my dreams and goals motivate me. I guess this really ties into the shoulds. If I think about taking action for too long, I will talk myself out of taking action. I will rationalize action away for all the things that I "should" be doing instead. Action will move me forward, inactivity won't. A very wise friend told me, "Don't judge, just do. And when you're done, look back to see if it worked, learn from it, and do again."
I think that my most important lesson is to love myself and support myself as I move forward. This means that whatever I do, that I accept it as part of the process. I will move forward. I will embrace what comes. At times there will be tears, at times disbelief, and sometimes they will slow me down...but I can't, no, I won't let them stop me. I accept that I have flaws, but I love myself, flaws and all.
This month of reflection has helped me begin to create a new vision...a revision of who I am...and who I am becoming. Today, everything is possible!
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